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Thursday Thoughts - Nothing that an overdose of testosterone can not solve - Circuits that have already been adapted need looking at again

Published by Jordan F1

Suppose if everyone in the Superman Universe knew that Superman and Clark Kent are the same person.  Would there be a need for Clark Kent?  I mean Lois and Jimmy exists as damsels in distress, to be saved on the page of the comic book by Superman.  But Clark is just a cover that has been blown.  I forget their bosses’ name at the Daily Planet, but how many times would he have to say “Lois must be in trouble – there goes Superman dressed up as Clark to the telephone booth or closet again… “ Before it starts to become a bit pathetic?

Ladies and Gentlemen, we have Lois Lane circuits in F1, like Hungary, like Valencia, like Catalunya, but that is what they are.  Short of major changes they will stay Lois Lane Circuits.  Of the three examples, what has been the biggest change?  Well the only change has been the addition of a chicane at the New Holland Corner at Catalunya.  That’s great.  Make the only awesome corner at Catalunya slower.  Now Catalunya is really screaming for Superman to save her…..  Quiet and go away!

Now, worse still, since around Lauda’s near fatal fire, we have Superman circuits wandering about in their blown Clark Kent disguises, weighed down by the Kryptonite that is called “Safety”.  Just hear these names, and you will agree with me that they are the worst circuits in F1 because as good as they are now, they where great circuits at one time.

The problem is that these great circuits are living in the past.  In one case, it has been completely bobbit’ed and is rightly ashamed to show its face in public and is to, in another case, it is boat-anchored with chicanes, and the last case I am still thinking about it.

The original Monza circuit
The original Monza circuitCredit: Wikimedia Commons

The circuit that is boat-anchored with chicanes is Monza.  As much as I actually like the Ascari chicane, let us bend it back to be a normal corner.

Make the Della Roggia and Del Rettifilo chicanes straight sections again.

Then for the crowning glory, pave and bring back the banked oval.  Once the teams have figured out that the wings on this circuit configuration create more drag than what they are worth, you will see the wings removed.  If we cannot find overtaking in Monza under this configuration, it is time to pull the plug on F1.  Period.

The 1980's Hockenheimring Baden-Württemberg Circuit
The 1980's Hockenheimring Baden-Württemberg CircuitCredit: Wikimedia Commons

The de-mailed circuit is the any of the “German” Grand Prix.  The case can be made for the Hockenheimring or the Osterreichring (it’s the one in Austria, currently called the A-1 ring.) and the current Nürburgring Sch***sen-schleife, exucse my French, I mean Sudschleife.

The easiest injection of Testosterone our Teutonic cousins can do is of course, to bring back the Nordschleife.

The alternative is to reconnect the forest section of the Hockenheimring and get rid of that new chicane that was installed when the circuit was last shortened.

Circuit Mont-Tremblant
Circuit Mont-TremblantCredit: Wikimedia Commons

The final circuit if the switching method is accepted is to switch Gilles Villeneuve with Mont-Tremblant.  That I should consider Gilles Villeneuve to be one of the better circuits in F1 right now is a statement in itself, But Mont-Tremblant does offer the famous “Bump”.

It used to be a small mound in the middle of the circuit that launched cars into orbit.  It has been shortened in height by some 10.5 feet in the name of safety but I am pretty sure we can being it back to its decent height.   A Chicane after the 1st turn does need to be straightened and turn 6 need to use its smooth curve configuration instead of the tight 90 degree left-hander that is currently being used in racing.  It does have a reputation for being a car wrecker.  Of the two times a F1 race was held there. only 16 cars of a total of 40 finished.

If track switiching is not allowed, the configuration at Silverstone needs to be slightly changed.  Vale should disappear so that a straight should connect Stowe to Club. Club needs to be tightened so that the cars will blast down the runway to connect to the new section of the track at what calls “The Loop”.  This “The Loop” I will renamed “Abbey” to keep with Silverstone tradition. Farm and Village curves will be gone.

So there it is.  My three worst circuits in F1.  Two circuits just mere shadows of their former selfs. Another hopelessly propelled to mediocre simply because most of the rest of the current circuits in F1  are tilke-dromes that no amount of muscle building will ever develop into a real first class racing circuit.  The best that we can do is to bring back the real circuits back to F1 again.  The great news is that my proposes require no more than some ashphalt to be laid down and a can of white paint to make the edges of the track.  Bring on the banked over at Monza!  Bring on the Nordschleife!  Bring on Mont-Tremblant, but most important of all, bring on white-knuckled racing!