Because Ferrari are still very much in love with Michael Schumacher, they continue to torment me by including him in their Formula 1 team. They've always said that they wanted to keep him involved in the future, and they're not changing their minds.

The technical director of Ferrari, Mario Almondo, has gone on record to say as much.

Schumacher will be part of the group. We will take advantage of his experience to develop the F1 car. We'll have remote connection when he won't be at the GPs. He makes a difference even from home.

- Mario Almondo

Seriously.

President of Ferrari Luca di Montezemolo has also joined the Schumacher Appreciation Society.

Michael will be a consultant for Ferrari. He will have his office, he'll come over whenever he wants to, and he will attend some GPs.

- Luca di Montezemolo

And...

Schumacher, who I wished would race for one more year, is already interested in his new role and he will also act as a talent scout in karting for us. He will be precious.

- Luca di Montezemolo

I might just go poke my eyes out with a fork.