After the success of last year's F1 pantomime, the Queen (of F1 podcasting) returns for another performance of a festive Formula 1 message.

Your favourite, and not so favourite faces of 2008 make guest appearances as Christine reminisces on some of the events of the past year, whilst giving a nod to the major upheaval facing the racing world next year.

Merry Christmas everybody.

Welcome to Sidepodcast TV and our annual Alternative Christmas Message. Last year we discussed whether F1 could be compared to the festive tradition of pantomime, but thankfully 2008 has been a lot less farcical and a lot more fun. Christmas is often a time for merriment, for eating, drinking, and present giving, but there’s one very important story that shouldn’t be forgotten at this time of year. I’m here to remind you of that story.

About two thousand hours ago, in Belgium, there lived a young woman named Karen. She was engaged to be married to David, an F1 driver. One day, Bernie the angel appeared before her and told her she had been chosen to have a special baby. The baby would be the next big Champ, and she must call him Dayton.

Soon after Bernie’s visit, Karen and David were married. Karen was due to have her baby when they were told they had to go on a long journey to Monaco, which was where David lived. This was because they had to pay a special superlicence tax, as decreed by King Max. Karen had to ride on a Red Bull for a few days over the hills of France.

At last Karen and David arrived in Monaco. It was crowded with other drivers who needed to pay their superlicence fees. Karen was very tired and needed a place to stay. At each inn, the story was the same. There was no room for them. Eventually, David went to his own hotel, and the manager said there was a garage where they kept the cars. They were welcome to stay there. And so it was that a few hours later, Karen gave birth to her son in that garage. She wrapped Dayton in strips of Nomex and laid him in a survival cell with high cockpit sides.

At the same time, on a yacht overlooking the harbour, some team bosses were watching over the town. Ron Dennis, Flavio Briatore and Vijay Mallya were sipping champagne when suddenly, a bright light appeared in the sky, and they were very afraid. It was Bernie again. He told them not to be afraid because he had some good news. He said the next big F1 Champ had been born and they would find him in Monaco. The bosses wanted to go and see the baby. When they arrived at the garage, they were filled with joy at seeing Dayton lying in the survival cell with high cockpit sides. They stayed awhile, complained about the facilities, and decided to return to their yacht. On their way out, they began to argue over who could sign up the driver at such a young age. Ron won the argument as he has experience of such matters.

Far away in the UK, three Wise Men: Rory Byrne, Pat Symonds and Paddy Lowe; saw a new star shining high in the sky. They studied the FIA Technical Regulations which told them that whenever a bright new star appeared it meant that a driver that could overtake had been born. The Wise Men decided to find this new driver. They went to Place de la Concorde to see King Max, as they thought the baby would be in the palace. They asked to see the child that would be the new F1 Champ. King Max was troubled. He told them to return when they had found the baby so he could worship the child himself.

The Wise Men set off to find Dayton. They were guided by the star to the garage in Monaco. Here they knelt down and worshipped Dayton. They gave him gifts of a high rear wing, an adjustable front wing, and some slick tyres. That night, all three men had the same dream in which Bernie warned them that King Max wanted to stop the driver that can overtake and told them not to go back to Place de la Concorde.

The Wise Men went back to the UK without calling to see Max. Soon after, David had a dream where Bernie told him to take Karen and Dayton to Switzerland. When the Wise Men did not visit, Max ordered that baby boys in Monaco be sent to race in NASCAR. They did not find Dayton as he was safe in Switzerland.

Now that is what an F1 Christmas is all about. Thank you for taking the time to watch my Christmas message. Enjoy the rest of your day.

Music played: Jill Parr, Oh Come All Ye Faithful

Music comes from music.podshow.com.

After nine exhausting months of relentless planning and scheming, after many incredibly late nights spent incessantly berating the competition, a winner was declared in Brazil. A champion worthy of the name, a person who can stand up and say "I fought with the best, and came out the victor".

Yes, shortly after the dramatic conclusion to the season last weekend, Jordan Allen was declared the 2008 winner of the Sidepodcast Fantasy Racers League. Not only did the man beat 163 other competitors fair and square (without the need for a stewards inquiry or any FIA intervention), he also helped secure the trophy for the most successful private league against some fierce competition from members of the Autosport forums.

Earlier last week we asked Jordan to pen a few words to let us know how he was feeling, but the man went one better and recorded a speech for us. Therefore, without further ado, allow us to present an Oscar winning performance from the fastest racer in town, take it away Mr. Jordan Allen:

That Speech in Full

I was about to start my speech with "Friends, Countrymen, Earthlings - lend me your ears", but then I realised that I would have freshly harvested corn thrown at me.

I am bitter-sweet about the Brazilian Grand Prix. I am not too impressed with Glock since he was in a position to affect the championship no matter what he did, and I wished he did it by a more positive fashion from his point of view and tried to defend his position. Glock let Toyota and myself down by not defending against Vettel or Hamilton.

Congratulations go out to those who managed to secure themselves temporary membership to the "Group of Five" club. The list is long but distinguished. But there is even a more elitist club, the Sidepodcast League's Top Scorer of the Race club, so everyone bug myself or Alianora, or G.R. or I think Alan Wolfe for the key to the room. There's a nice bar and snooker table... but God, you Brits need to bring a refrigerator or an icebox so there's a chance the beer can be kept cold. It's basically a sacrilege to us foreigners that the beer is not kept cold.

With regards to the outright winner of the Sidepodcast league? While I was in first place during the competition, I was being chased by tons of very beautiful lassies. It was unreal. I would have stopped and waited for them to catch up but I noticed their husbands and boyfriends also closing in, and so the chase resumed.

After Brazil, imagine my let down to realize that I was no longer being chased by anyone. Nor was I, but rather the trophy, the object of this pursuit.

And finally, on behalf of myself, Dan Cross, and all the other members of the Sidepodcast family, we like to present to you, Christine, and "me", this trophy for the most successful league of 2008, in recognition of all the hard work and the amount of free time, holidays and nights lost while maintaining this web site.

To butcher the speech of a far greater man than I will ever be, way back when Sidepodcast was just an idea in the back of your heads, you had nothing to offer us but "blood, toil, tears, and sweet". We have seen the excellent results without the use of blood. And for this we declare: "Never, in the field of podcasting, has so much been owed by so many, to so few."

Hopefully this trophy will at least, pay the interest.

Bye for now, have a nice day and I'm still somewhere between Nassau and Miami. See ya soon.

Jordan